Wrestling Review: Attack! Pro Wrestling The MistleTour 2016 Cardiff (17/12/2016)

With 2016 coming to end, we see more and more wrestling promotions closing the year off in the best way they can. And Attack! Pro Wrestling held their annual MistleTour. Firstly in the Cathays Community Centre within Cardiff on the 17th December, and then in Trinity Centre in Bristol the next night. But for this show, we’ll talk about the Cardiff event.

Before the main show took place, we were treated to a bonus match – ’tis the season of giving! The match featured two up and comers in the Attack! roster, one of which made his debut, so it was definitely interesting to see.

Bonus Match
‘Bronco Brendan White defeats Elijah Dahl

Elijah Dahl, who I have talked about in past reviews, made his Attack! debut here and while not many liked his moody demeanour and nasty offense, he did pull off many impressive manoeuvres that did intrigue people. Brendan made sure to fight back all of this with his heavy hitting, powerhouse style, while also having a bit of a laugh with the crowd in a festive spirit. He kept pulling on Dahl’s beard at one point to make him shout ‘HO! HO! HO’ for a funny little moment. In the end, Brendan hit a Moonsault from the second turnbuckle to get the pinfall victory. A very nice display which the people really appreciated.

Not too long after this we get the official Attack! opening with Jim Lee appearing to some Christmas music. People chanted for him to have ‘One More Match’ but he said he’d rather stick to announcing and drinking beer, which the people jokingly booed. Speaking of boos, Shay Purser also in the ring, still a referee with Attack! somehow, and he was wearing the black shirt and red bow tie he wore during the PPV Tie-In show when he turned on everyone in the Attack! fan base. Pete Dunne’s name was briefly mentioned, as was his recent inclusion in the WWE United Kingdom Championship tournament. He’ll be part of it from the 14th and 15th January in Blackpool. Jim Lee also made a crack at making the possible future UK Champion tap out at the last show. He then mentioned something ‘FUN’, and you know what happens when that word is said in Attack!


Opening Match
Sergeant Travis Banks w/ Chief Deputy Damien Dunne defeats ‘Raving Danny Jones w/ Love Making Demon

Before the match started, the Anti-Fun Police appeared and handed out coal to people in the audience, one of which I was able to take after the show. Nice – free art supplies! Danny Jones & the Love Making Demon came out to some festive music, and LMD had mistletoe with him and ended up kissing Jim, which marked one of many kissing scenes of this part of the show.

There were a few whistle blowing shenanigans at the start, which included a Whistle Arm Drag!! And Travis knocking himself back when blowing on Danny’s whistle… please don’t take that out of context. There were also a few kissing moments as you’d expect with the Love Making Demon, the AFP and his mistletoe. Danny also used his impressive hybrid style that got the people into the match. But sadly this time, the numbers game was too much in the end, and it was also due to Shay’s new attitude change that led to the finish. Darn it Shay, you were better than this… basically Banks hugged Shay and he didn’t do anything to stop him, Dunne attacked Danny with the coal bag they brought with them. And then Banks got the pinfall victory. Despite this sour note to end the match, Danny and LMD kissed in the ring and Danny sang to his whistle. Again, not an innuendo.

Also it’s been confirmed that LMD is actually supposed to be a mouse… I never saw it until now. Attack! Pro Wrestling promoting love of all kind, even between man and creature. (Disclaimer: Attack! Pro Wrestling does not actually condone bestiality).


Bird & Boar (Mike Bird & Wild Boar) defeats ‘ED Drewdley’ (Drew Parker) and T-Von Drewdley (Tyler Bate)

Bird and Boar weren’t well liked considering their turn from the last show, while The Dudley Boyz parody team of the NEW 24/7 Champion, EC Drewdley (Drew Parker) and T-Von Drewdley (Tyler Bate) were having a heck of a good time. The Drewdleys did many moves that we know from their parodied selves, while Bird and Boar were even more aggressive than they usually are, which goes along with their more aggressive demeanours. A table was brought into the match, which was followed by some ‘DIY’ and ‘B&Q’ references from the Attack! fans. Boar got 3D’d through one of them first, but not too long after, Drew was slammed through a table that was set up in a corner. The end drew near as Bird & Boar hit their ‘Mrs Pattersons’ Revenge’ (Double Gutbuster/Frog Splash) finish to get the pin fall victory. While they celebrated to the people booing them, they signalled they were coming for a championship, but whether that means the Attack! Pro Wrestling Championship, the Tag Titles or the 24:7 title remains to be seen. But judging from their recent turn on Eddie, we can guess which takes priority.

After the match concluded Tyler rolled up Drew in an attempt to capture his 24/7 Championship since the title can change hands anytime, anyplace. Luckily for him, the champion kicked out and made a rash for it out of the Bingo Hall. Well, at least you tried Tyler. Hopefully he will have better luck in the WWE United Kingdom Championship tournament next year.


Attack! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Championship

Bowl-a-Rama (Splits McPins & ‘Fat Katt’ Lloyd Katt) defeats #CCK (Chris Brookes & Mondai Lykos) to become the NEW Tag Team Champions!

Before this match started, Jim encouraged people to take pictures and videos during this match with the hashtag: #SaveBowlarama as they want to make sure to save the business of Bowl-a-Rama (Lloyd Katt and Splits McPins stays open). CCK came out to belittle the audience, with Brookes being particularly angsty bringing a bottle of water with him and spitting its contents at everyone. Bowl-a-Rama came out to their bowling routine.

This match was a very engaging one with the crowd 100% involved, well, even more than they have been so far which is saying something. CCK weren’t liked as usual, with Lykos getting mocked by the crowd for his new attire, which looked like something you’d see from the Power Rangers. He got multiple chants of this during the match, but no one, sang, the song… WHY! Attack! people, you had the perfect opportunity, why did you let that slip away! But despite this, they were just as effective as they always are moving between illegal moves and holds alongside some very impressive double team manoeuvres. Say what you want about their attitude, but they truly have amazing chemistry as a tag team unit. Though back to their antics, Chris did his usual SICKENING wet willy in the mouth of Splits since his mask had no earholes, and at one point I heard a baby crying behind me during his offence. It’s confirmed, Chris Brookes makes babies cry. But Bowl-a-rama, despite having less time in Attack! as the champions, were still effective showing how well they worked together as well. Splits had his hybrid style, mostly relying on strikes and the use of his bowling ball to use against CCK, while ‘Fat Katt’ was more of the power man of the two while also having fast speed for someone of his physique. Look, the description is in his name, don’t be so judgemental.

As the match started to come to a close, things only got more hyped and either team could have one. Both teams executed many different manoeuvres, and Bowl-a-Rama had the match at one point, but Shay, who was the ref here, had ‘HAND CRAMP’ before counting to three. They got annoyed at this and Shay got Superkicked for his hand problems. But after this, Nixon Newell appeared to try and help CCK, but things turned sour pretty quickly for Brookes, Lykos and Newell. Nixon got powder in her eyes and she hit her Welsh Destroyer on Brookes since she couldn’t see why she had. When things cleared up, Splits pinned Brookes as Huw, the other Attack ref appeared to finish the three count. NEW CHAMPIONS! They celebrated, and Katt got on the mic, practically crying that ‘Bowl-a-Rama will live FOREVEEEEEEER!!!’ (repeat like 10 times, bless him). But yeah, people were well please with this, and it’s nice to see Bowl-a-Rama FINALLY doing well for themselves!

The interval was next and there were people piling up to buy their regular raffle tickets, as well as to chat and have a laugh with the wrestlers out there with them. The Anti-Fun Police were being made fun of by the kids there and scared by the whistles they had. I don’t blame them, did you see what those things did to Banks?!


Mark Andrews defeats Nixon Newell

Critics of inter-gender wrestling would be SOOOOO salty after seeing a match like this, especially considering the backstory and level of skill involved in it. This one was a pretty great first time match. The two had animosity going into it since Nixon was the one who turned her back on her former Bayside High member, Mark Andrews. Mark was willing to put his body on the line as he always does against his former friend, while Nixon wanting to complete decimate him as much as she possible can. Their war went on for quite a bit, both of them going back and worth, delivering just as impactful moves as the time went on.

There was an impressive Tilt-a-whirl Octopus Stretch done by Nixon at one point as she did the free hand of Mark in reference to the Bruiserweight. At one point during this she yelled ‘Give up just like you give up in TNA!’, making reference to Mark’s Impact Wrestling appearances, which got an ‘OH DAAAANG!’ reaction from the crowd. This triggered him, as it would anyone, and got the advantage again with high flippy dives, which worked well for Mark in this moment. Mark was close to winning at one point, but Shay (who reffed this match too), ‘fell’ on the ropes, causing Mark to lose balance. Nixon came back with hitting the Drop Dead (Pete Dunne’s finisher), but Mark kicked out of it, hits Nixon with her own Welsh Destroyer and then hits his patented Shooting Star Press for the pinfall victory.

After the match, Mark offer a handshake out for Nixon, and to the surprise of everyone, she accepted it while heading to the back rather quickly. No attacks after, all happy feely. Didn’t expect that, but I’m glad it ended this way, as was everyone else.


Main EventAttack! Pro Wrestling Championship

Eddie Dennis retains against Chief Deputy Damien Dunne w/ Sergeant Travis Banks

Much like most Attack! main events, the craziness went to a whole new level. The match started out fairly normally, with the AFP trying to get the numbers game over the champion, with some dirty tactics and even a few impactful moves from Deputy Dunne. But Eddie would fight back as he always does with the crowd supporting him every step of the way as he executed his powerhouse moves and heavy hitting offence. The two of them did brawl into the crowd as you’d expect at the start of the match. Damien was through into the merch stand, a wall, and even into the crowd’s chairs when they were moved out of the way. Banks did scream out ‘DAMIEN!’ in the most high pitched way which was quite brilliant.

Towards the end they fought outside again, after Eddie powerbombed Damien OVER THE CORNER TURNBUCKLE, ONTO TRAVIS ON THE OUTSIDE! Crazy… but it didn’t stop there. In the Bingo Hall, there’s a small section with a small scaffholding/balcony like area. Damien was seen up there at one point and Eddie soon followed. With a small cluster of ring crew trying to stop them from fighting from down below, Eddie proceeds… TO CHOKESLAM DAMIEN ONTO THEM!!! Needless to say the crowd lost their minds, how Damien managed to finish the match after those two moments I’ll never know. Eddie hit the Next Stop Driver on Damien inside the ring not long after, but Travis pulled Huw, the other ref who isn’t evil like Shay, out of the ring. Damien hit Eddie with his own championship, but couldn’t get the pinfall. After a failed finisher attempt by Dunne, Eddie countered it with a Superkick and then another Next Stop Driver for the pinfall victory. Everyone in the crowd celebrates as the Cathays show came to an end.

After the show finished there was an after party of sorts with many of the wrestlers at a pub around the corner. I did some quick sketches there while doing my best to make conversation. I even went with some of them after to Live Lounge for some more drinks and dancing. I decided to go since I haven’t been on a ‘crazy night out’ once since I’ve started my third year, and with the holidays starting I thought one night of doing something different wasn’t so bad. It was also nice because it makes you realise, ‘Wow… these guys are people. Real people, like everyone else.’ Granted I know a few of them from when I was training more regularly so I already KNEW this, but I digress.

The first night of the MistleTour of 2016 was a pretty good one and I will be back to cover the Bristol show from the next night, so stay tuned for that one as well. Until then, check out all of the Attack social media platforms!

Attack! Pro Wrestling Social Media Links

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ATTACKprowrestling

Twitter – @ATTACKWrestling

Instragram – attackwrestling

Website – http://attackprowrestling.co.uk/

On-Demand – http://attackprowrestling.co.uk/attack-on-demand/4591917192

Store – http://attackprowrestling.bigcartel.com/



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